Red Herring Season
At the time of writing I have just left a meeting with Sandy Weill (of Citibank fame), where he told me we are entering into the deepest recession any of us has seen in many, many years. Of course, he was talking about the US. But let’s say, hypothetically, that Canada does not miss this bullet (in spite of our government’s solid, stay the course plan) and we too enter into a recession. What then?
Unemployment climbs, demand for consumer good drops, the economy shrinks, inventories shrink, profits disappear, and so on. Most importantly, though, none of this is our fault at a micro-economic level. It is all the fault of the economy; a comforting thought to many Canadian business leaders who love nothing more than to find a convenient external source to blame for whatever happens to their business (high taxes, the liberal government tax and spend policies, the free market conservative policies, the dollar, 9/11, SARS, Listeria, and so on).
Don’t blame these poor souls. They are suffering from RHD, Red Herring Disorder, a viral disease native to the Canadian Urban Regions.
RHD starts, as do all worthwhile disease, with flue like symptoms. Subsequently the patient slumps into a lumpish, self-sympathetic pose, often muttering: “But there’s nothing we can do,” over and over again. RHD victims generally cut budgets and cancel activities, mostly to avoid being responsible for anything, but also, in most cases, to reduce their workload in order to spend more time bemoaning their fate. RHD is probably caused by an airborne pathogen as it is easily transmitted from person to person (and, in an odd, metaphysical way, from organization to organization).
As RHD progresses it takes control of the autonomous nervous system, causing the patient to become increasing boring and repetitive. A compulsive need to stifle any external stimuli and repeat the “cut the budget” mantra is the reason this disease is often mistaken for an obsessive-compulsive mood disorder. Practitioners now believe this not to be the case, as RHD is often accompanied by a contradictory psycho-neurotic behavioural symptom: pathological self-preservation syndrome. The precise relationship between RHD and PSPS is not clear, but the fact that they so often occur in parallel has opened an entirely new path of study for experts in these diseases.
RHD is often incurable and, in the worst cases, ultimately results in the sufferer being separated from the organization organism at such time as the economy improves. Unfortunately for the organization organism and the world in general, this occurs far too late to be of any use.
In the US, a vaccination has been tested and shown somewhat successful. At the very first intimation of the virus, test subjects are given massive doses of courage and creativity. Early test show that the resulting hard work, positive outlook and immediate business success appear to be effective in fighting off the disease.
If not caught in time, the disease cannot be effectively treated.
Under no circumstances, should sufferers be exposed to competitors who have taken advantage of the difficult economic climate to rethink their fundamental mission and vision, and develop innovative, effective, and hard-hitting strategies.
